Economic stimulus? My package was empty.

A rant against government officials can be an ugly thing.
 
And I say it’s about time we had one. Because this time, it’s personal.
 
It takes one buffoon to screw up years of hard work and good intentions. But let’s throw politics out the window for just a moment.
 
I don’t want a debate on policy or whose stimulus package is bigger, or if these programs even work at all. Let’s just talk about what’s happening now.
 
Lawmakers approved billions of dollars in stimulus programs. A lot of this goes to government-works projects, and many include heaping gobs of nursery product. So that’s good, right?
 
Not when the money gets flushed down the toilet.

A true story
The following is true, but I’ll refrain from using any names. Why I’m giving the rat-fink in charge this courtesy is beyond me. I guess I’m getting soft.
 
But let’s start from the beginning: Lawmakers in Washington want to do something about the recession. How many hours do you think hundreds of Congressional aides spent behind the scenes working on this bill? I’m guessing a bunch. Next, the stimulus package passes and everyone celebrates because it’s going to put money in the pockets of needy Americans. Whoopee! Officials at a North Texas municipality hear about possible grants to improve their fair city. So several grunts at city hall spend countless hours filling out paperwork in hopes of receiving money.
 
But it’s worth the work, right? With the grant, the city would be improved and local businesses that supply the materials and do the work would get big paychecks. That’s what economic stimulus is all about.
 
Sure enough, the city wins the grant and is set to construct a beautiful streetscape. The plans include about $125,000 in trees, shrubs and other ornamentals, which would be enjoyed by the citizens for decades. Whoopee!
 
Dozens of contractors spend hours on bids hoping to win the job. One lucky landscaper gets the contract and he starts sourcing materials. He finds everything he needs and he’s ready to make a tidy profit but …

Put on the breaks
Back at city hall, the streetscape job gets turned over to Parks and Recreation. The head of this department (the previously mentioned rat-fink) is told to oversee this project and ensure the contractor gets the job done.
 
Rat-fink gets one good look at the plans and says, “Hold the phones.”
 
There are a bunch of plants on this project. And who do you think is going to have to maintain all those plants? Yup, the rat-fink.
 
So he completely changes the plans, eliminating basically all the plant materials except about $27,000 worth of trees. He gives the plans back to the contractor and says, “Here, work with this.”
 
The contractor is mad because he won’t get paid for installing everything that got cut. The contractor’s supplier (me — I told you this was personal) misses out on a huge sale. The nursery that grew the omitted plants misses out, as does the manufacturer of the pots, the soil, and even the delivery driver.
 
See how it all goes downhill?
 
Everybody loses and the stimulus is less than stimulating. Thousands of hours of work are wasted, and God only knows what happens to all the money that was meant to go to local businesses.
 
All because one rat-fink doesn’t want to trim some bushes. Golly I love bureaucracy.