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People who hate to say no find it hard to do, and sometimes do something much worse than hurt someone’s feelings. They either don’t say anything, which passively sends an incorrect message of “yes,” or they say no in such a way that the other person doesn’t really know what is being said, sending the message of “maybe.”

People who don’t mind saying no don’t find it hard to do, but they can lack the skills to do it gracefully and very often instill hard feelings, even when that is not their intent.

For those of you who have no problem saying no but need a little guidance on how to say it more effectively, here are some tips.

Tip 1 “I’m Sorry” doesn’t have to mean you are really sorry. A little empathy can go a long way.

Tip 2 Repeat back to the other person their point of view. That will allow them to listen to yours. Once you prove to someone you understand their point of view, by repeating it back to them, they can stop explaining it over and over again.

Tip 3 You don’t have to prove to someone that the situation is their fault. Most people just want empathy, not for you to take the blame. If possible, take their side as much as you can, but return to the situation at hand.

Tip 4 Show the other person you wish it could be different. Telling someone, “I wish I could do this for you…however, I just can’t” is much more powerful than, “I won’t do this for you because I don’t have to.”

Tip 5 Help solve the problem in another way if possible. Even if alternatives aren’t the answer, the fact that you offered them shows you care. Most people, when being told “no,” can take it a little better if it is coming from someone who seems to genuinely care.

Tip 6 Avoid the word “but” when empathizing. When you say, “I understand, but…” what the other person hears is, “I don’t understand.”

Using the tips above, you can say no and avoid conflict. The following example shows how a different approach can save you from an unpleasant situation.

Pat is a hotel clerk who is trying to help Mr. Donnelly. It’s late at night and he needs a hotel room.

Mr. Donnelly: Look, I really need a room tonight. You’re the sixth hotel I’ve been to and I’m getting really tired.

Pat: I’m sorry, there are no rooms; we’re completely booked.

Mr. Donnelly: Please? I’m exhausted.

Pat: I understand, but that doesn’t change the fact that we have no rooms.

Mr. Donnelly: But I’m exhausted.

Pat: I understand, but how is that our fault? You should have made a reservation.

Mr. Donnelly: Can’t you do something for me?

Pat: (Turning the terminal toward Mr. Donnelly) Look, we have no rooms!

Notice how Pat said she was sorry, but she didn’t really convey that very well. She was also concerned with proving Mr. Donnelly was at fault. She offered no real solution, and certainly did not appear that she wished it were different. The next example shows how Pat does when she applies the tips above.

Mr. Donnelly: Look, I really need a room tonight. You’re the sixth hotel I’ve been to and I’m getting really tired.

Pat: Oh, I’m very sorry, there are no rooms; we have a conference here and we’re completely booked.

Mr. Donnelly: Please? I’m exhausted.

Pat: Mr. Donnelly, I understand that you are exhausted. I know you don’t want to have to keep searching for a room at other hotels. I see how tired you are and understand what you are going through. Believe me, if I had a room, I would definitely give it to you. The truth is... I just don’t have a room available. I’d do it if I could… but just can’t. Can I help you find a room somewhere else?

Mr. Donnelly: Ugh. Okay, yes, please!

Pat’s approach led to a much better result. Mr. Donnelly isn’t thrilled, but he is ready to move on.

Remember, saying no doesn’t have to create bad feelings if you show a little empathy. Follow these simple tips and you might just get a little less resistance from people.

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Google has rolled out a host of updates to its search product. The updates are designed to make visual information more useful as pictures and video become more central to the Internet experience.

The new features showing up in searches include introductory videos about public figures, topic videos to help users plan trips or learn about new subjects, and an overhaul of its ranking system for displaying image-based searches, offering users more context and easier ways to shop online.

Businesses can leverage these changes to their benefit by integrating photos, videos, online reviews and more into Google’s “My Business” page.

Posting through Google My Business lets you publish your events, products, and services directly to Google Search and Maps. By creating posts, you can place your timely text, video, or photo content in front of customers when they find your business listing on Google.

Your business profile appears right when people are searching for your business or businesses like yours on Google Search and Maps. Creating a Google My Business (www.google.com/ business) page is free and you can update your Business Profile with it so you can stand out and bring customers in.

Once you set it up, you can learn how customers are interacting with your Business Profile. How did people find you? Where are they coming from? It’s similar to Google Analytics, but tailored to your specific business. It’s also designed to be much less overwhelming. While many data scientists are devoted to analytics’ ability to handle any deep dive, the sheer amount of variables involved is enough to frustrate those without a statistics degree.

Google My Business also gives you the tools to build a website for your company, for free, in less than 10 minutes. The free website builder makes it easy to create and edit your site from your computer and phone. Google handles the optimization, ensuring your new site will look great on any screen, from desktops to tablets and phones. By doing it Google’s way, you might be losing a bit of your own autonomy, but the tradeoff might be worth it. All of the sites set up through Google My Business are designed to drive customer actions, using Google’s other services, like Maps to help people find you, and AdWords, Google’s online advertising platform that aims to turn searches into sales.

I recently talked with an individual whose organization hired a Hacker (someone actively trying to cause problems in the workplace, described in my December 2018 column in this magazine) who stirs the pot and tries to pit people against each other. After dealing repeatedly with the drama, the second in command said, “While I had a feeling she wasn’t the best choice for our team, I kept quiet because I lacked proof. What a mistake.”

It’s been said that leadership is part science and part art. Part of the art of leadership is learning to trust your gut. I don’t know about you, but as a logical person, this didn’t happen naturally for me.

My journey to trusting my gut started in my doctoral program. In a taped interview, Dr. Carl Rogers, famous as one of the founders of the humanistic approach to psychology, said, “Over time, I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I’m almost always right.” My immediate response was, “If it’s good enough for Rogers, it’s good enough for me.” After a quarter of a century, I’m happy to report my intuition is almost never wrong. On the contrary, it’s when I override my intuition with logic that I get into trouble.

Scientists have studied the Enteric Nervous System (ENS) connection between our gut and our brain for more than 50 years. Composed of 100 million neurons, the ENS resides in our stomach. According to Dr. Michael Gershon, professor and chair of pathology and cell biology at Columbia University, "The gut can work independently of any control by the brain in your head—it's functioning as a second brain."

Beyond Rogers and the study of ENS, research from the Max Planck Society indicates individuals who intentionally strengthen their intuition make better, faster and more beneficial decisions. The following are tips for helping you tap into your and your team’s second brain:

Your gut can also signal the positive. As I was ending my career as a professor, I was asked to serve on a committee. While my inclination was to say no, I had the feeling something good might happen if I said yes. My gut was right. That yes led to a significant amount of consulting work.

Ask questions. When things don’t feel right, respectfully ask questions of your boss, your team members, customers and vendors. If the answers silence your internal alarms, great. If you still have doubts, give voice to your trepidation. “I can’t put it into words, but something doesn’t feel right.” Refuse to be rushed into decisions. Refrain from doing things you have a feeling you’ll regret.

Create a culture where your team asks questions and gives voice to their gut instincts. You can do this by giving voice to your own instincts and gut reactions. Your team will follow suit. In addition, ask team members, “What are your instincts telling you?”

Your instincts are an invaluable resource you can tap into personally and as a leader. Boost your team’s ability to access their intuition and the results will be significantly multiplied.

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Beautiful pictures are the content of ads and marketing for plants. Then, in the fine print, you’ll perhaps find something about size, sun versus shade, and hardiness zones. These are the tools mainstream horticulture utilizes to sell customers on which plants are this year’s top varieties. For example, well-known brands will advertise in several national gardening magazines and regional publications, plus create countless social media posts, and use billboards, radio, trade magazines, and much more to market their plants. What a budget — it is all extremely impressive. If mother nature had a similar marketing budget for native plants showing their ecological benefits, then maybe there wouldn’t be such a concern about the decline in birds, bees and butterflies. Thankfully there are many impressive efforts outside the horticulture world regarding native plants that are and will influence our current and future customers. They are all doing a wonderful job marketing plants for birds, bees, and butterflies.

Get familiar with many of our national conservation societies and associations. The Audubon Society, The National Wildlife Federation, The Xerces Society, Bee City USA and many more organizations throughout the U.S. are encouraging their members and associates to plant native plants. Not to mention all our local, community-based organizations scattered across our country that embrace that effort. Every community seems to have groups of people encouraging us to “Save the Monarchs” and more.

The Audubon Society (600,000 members) says: “By simply choosing native plants for our yards and public spaces, we can restore vital habitat for birds in our communities and help them adapt and survive in the face of climate change.” Audubon has 23 state programs, 41 centers, 450+ local chapters, and holds countless events across the U.S. Audubon’s Plants for Birds program is designed to enable anyone to have a positive impact by planting for birds, right where they live. These programs have been in place for years.

The National Wildlife Federation (6 million members) states: ”Native plants are the most environmentally-friendly choice…. Native plants are also the plants that native wildlife have formed symbiotic relationships with over thousands of years, and therefore the most sustainable way of offering habitat.” Their 45-year-old Garden for Wildlife program (which includes the Certified Wildlife Habitat program) has 2.5 million members. The Mayor’s Monarch Pledge program includes mayors of cities all over the U.S., Mexico and Canada. Their regular newsletters, emails, social media programs and other forms of outreach continually remind all the recipients to plant natives. (www.nwf.org/Garden-for-Wildlife)

The Xerces Society is effective, too. It states: “Tens of thousands of people have attended training courses and workshops or helped with citizen-science projects. Hundreds of thousands of acres of new habitat have been created on farms and in parks, and thousands of gardeners are welcoming bees and butterflies to their yards.”

The Center for Biological Diversity, a national, nonprofit conservation organization with more than 1.5 million members and online activists, rallied 101 other conservation organizations in November 2017 to urge the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Natural Resources Conservation Service to substantially increase funding for monarch butterfly conservation and habitat restoration. The advantages of using native plants are not myths.

A good spot to see how many organizations are involved in these efforts is the partners page at the National Pollinator Garden Network website (millionpollinatorgardens.org/partners). They are the ones responsible for the Million Pollinator Garden Challenge. It is also a cautionary tale. Perhaps by trying to get so many on board is why their statements about neonicotinoids is so conservative. And the network’s blanket statements that all flowering plants help pollinators does not line up with statements from supporting groups. But the challenge is certainly a great effort.

The list of organizations promoting gardening with native plants is extraordinary. What does all of this mean? This outside mainstream horticulture marketing taking place everywhere, all of the time, is encouraging people to plant more natives and be our clients. There are millions of customers, potential customers, and future customers that will want native plants. And they may see through the claims of pollinator friendly for non-natives and many cultivars. It is important that our industry play a big part in marketing natives because it will not only be good business, but also enhance horticulture's place as good environmental stewards.