I achieved a couple of milestones this year. First, my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. It was during the heart of the lockdown, so our silver anniversary was spent sitting in the driveway toasting with a couple of 12-ounce silver cans. I had planned (and longed for) a celebration in Banff, Alberta, Canada surrounded by the splendor of the Canadian Rockies. If you’ve been reading my columns over the years, you may recall that the mountains are where I’m most at peace. Instead, we were surrounded by the familiar sights of home. The 20-year-old Dodge pickup with more than 200,000 miles, the 20-year-old live oak tree we planted the first year in our rural home, the 14-year-old lab whose unconditional love has never failed us, and each other — two people who’ve shared a million laughs, some tears, a few arguments (okay, maybe more than “a few” — he married a stubborn person) and countless memories and moments in time.

It didn’t matter that we weren’t in Banff. All that mattered was that we were together and healthy, which was a major blessing in this time of COVID-19.

It reminded me of a Charles Dickens quote I have taped to the front of my filing cabinet: “Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

I encourage you to remember and record your present blessings and share them with family and friends this season, whether if it’s in letter form, on a Zoom call or in person.

I celebrated another anniversary in December — 20 years of covering this wonderful industry. When I walked into the offices of Branch-Smith Publishing, I was the mother of a toddler and had most recently covered the commercial real estate business market and economic development. I was tackling a new subject and it was a bit overwhelming. But you all welcomed me at your nurseries and took the time to explain the lingo and the science.

As I’ve said a few times in this same space, I was in awe at how each of you shared business practices and lessons with your competitors. That never would have happened in the commercial real estate world. You were (and still are) champions for the entire industry. I’ve been able to see your kids grow up, watched your businesses grow, shared happy and sad times with some of you, celebrated some retirements, and said some goodbyes. And that toddler I referenced, he’s now 21 and in the Army. It’s been an absolute joy spending these past two decades with you.

Cheers to each of you and prayers for a healthy and blessed New Year!

There are few plants in my garden that deserve as many accolades as my Buddleia alternifolia. I know the genus Buddleia has, to quote the Eagles, “A nasty reputation as a cruel dude,” but think of B. alternifolia as a kinder, gentler cousin. I have been growing Buddleia alternifolia for many years and have never seen it become invasive, which is the chief complaint of its “Cousin David” (davidii). The graceful, arching habit of is branches have led to its common name, fountain butterfly bush. It is also commonly called alternate-leaved butterfly bush, as its scientific name implies, because it has an alternate leaf pattern as opposed to the opposite leaves of other Buddleia species. It puts on a breathtaking show from late May until early July when its pendulous branches are covered with lightly scented lilac-blue flowers that are a valuable source of nectar for butterflies and other pollinators. Unlike other Buddleia species, B. alternifolia blooms on old wood, and thus hard pruning of the plant will mean few or no flowers the following year. It can be trained into a single-trunked small tree or grown as a multi-stemmed shrub.

Buddleia alternifolia is a deciduous shrub native to Gansu Province in north-central China where it grows along riverbanks at surprisingly high elevations between 4,500 and 13,000 feet. In cultivation it grows well in full sun to partial shade in a variety of soils from sandy loam to clay. B. alternifolia needs moderate summer water but will not tolerate wet feet in the winter. It is easily propagated from softwood or semi-hardwood cuttings. Mature plants reach 10-12 feet tall and wide. It makes a bold statement in the landscape. B. alternifolia received the prestigious Award of Garden Merit from the Royal Horticultural Society in 1993. It is more common in gardens in the U.K than in North America. I seldom see specimens in gardens in the Pacific Northwest, which is a shame. It’s hardy in USDA Zones 5-9, so it would do well in most regions of the United States. This is definitely a plant that deserves greater attention in commercial horticulture and landscape design.

In the 1791 book “Travels” written by William Bartram, he described the Flame azalea (R. calendulaceum) as “This is the most gay and brilliant flowering shrub yet known.” Since the founding of Carolina Native, we use this quote, but it does not translate well. A few years ago, we welcomed a group of horticulturists and landscape architects from China. Thinking we would impress them, we used Google translate to produce an introduction and brief catalog in Chinese. As we handed it out, all our guests began to laugh. Humor usually starts things off well, and they all wanted to see the homosexual shrub. Of course, the word “gay” doesn’t translate properly. The joke was on us. But it did earn me two trips to China, a speaking engagement with the Chinese Association of Landscape Architects about North American native azaleas in Shanghai (intimidating), and a little business.

Indigenous azaleas are the gems of the native plant garden. And considering the rising awareness of all the ecological advantages of native plants in gardens and landscapes, it may be a good idea to gain some fundamental knowledge about these wonderful plants. I follow the lead of Clarence Towe in his book “American Azaleas” in terms of information and plant grouping.

There are 15 (do I hear 17?) American azaleas species, plus a few that have been added. And since these azaleas hybridize easily, some may say more. They are all deciduous, in the subgenus Pentanthera (five stamens) of the genus Rhododendron (being part of the Rhododendron genus confuses many). Like Mr. Towe, I will place these wonderful plants into five groups (plus one).

1) Western azalea (R. occidentale) is the only one from the West Coast. Found from southern Oregon down the coast of California to Mexico, this plant is stoloniferous. It can grow up to 30 feet with light pink flowers all the way to red in May to August. It’s reported that R. occidentale does not do well in the Eastern United States, but we have a few in production and will see for ourselves.

2) Rhodora (R. canadense) and Pinkshell (R. vaseyi) are non-fragrant pinks that are very different and found far away from one another. Rhodora is from the Northeast and is a stoloniferous low grower (3 feet). Easily identified by its small, some say grayish leaves, it blooms pink to purple in May at our nursery. Pinkshell is found above 4,000 feet in a few counties in Western North Carolina, usually blooms pink (sometimes white) from round and sticky buds before the leaves appear. It is easy to identify by its pointy leaves and bark that appears “shreddy.” Very open and airy but certainly doesn’t do well off the mountain.

3) Piedmont (R. canescens), Pinxter (R. periclymenoides formerly R. nudiflorum) and Roseshell (R. prinophyllum) are somewhat fragrant pink azaleas that cover the Eastern U.S. Piedmont, the southern one, grows up to 15 feet tall and is lightly fragrant. It’s very hardy, grows in many conditions and is found in USDA Zones 6-9. Also called hoary azalea, the blooms are light pink to sometimes white. Pinxter likes somewhat drier soils. It’s seen in all shades of pink with a particularly deeper pink in the throat in April to May. This azalea can be seen from the Deep South up to Cape Cod, and it’s hard in Zones 4-8. Roseshell doesn’t seem to like it hot, struggles and is slow in Western North Carolina. It can grow up to 8 feet tall and blooms in all shades of pink from May to June. The emerging leaves are coppery in color and covered with short hairs. It’s sometimes called downy or mountain pink. The fragrance in these plants pales in comparison to the plants in group 4.

4) Alabama (R. alabamense), Coastal (R. atlanticum), Sweet (R. arborescens) and Swamp (R. viscosum) have the whites that remind you what fragrant plants are all about. All of these are incredibly fragrant. Many times, you smell them before you see them and start searching for the source, then wonder where you can get one for your garden. One whiff and sold! Alabama azalea blooms white to white with yellow blotches in April through June. The large leaves can be semi glossy. Found in the deep south and hardy from Zones 6-8. Coastal is usually identified by its bluish leaves. Found along the Mid-Atlantic coast from Delaware to Georgia, it’s hardy in Zones 5-8. Flowers range from white to completely yellow from April to May. Sweet azaleas are named for their awesome fragrance. Fantastic white blooms, sometimes with yellow blotches, with very distinctive red pistils and filaments from April to May. Usually the glossy, deep-green leaves are a giveaway. Swamp azaleas can be found all over the Eastern U.S. It has smaller leaves, smaller white flowers, but still nicely fragrant with individual plants blooming all summer. Also called catch-fly and clammy azalea because the sticky, glandular hair can catch insects. We find all the whites to be hardy and easiest to grow in the nursery and landscape.

5) For a wide group of orange, yellow, and red blooming plants, look to Florida (R. austrinum), Oconee (R. flammeum), Flame (R. calendulaceum), Cumberland (R. cumberlandense), and Plumleaf (R. prunifolium). Florida likes it hot but has proven hardy even in the cold of the Midwest as seen at the planting at Taylor University in Indiana. Grows up to 15 feet tall and blooms fragrant yellow to pale orange early in March to April. Oconee is found in the area along the Oconee River in Georgia. It can be 6-8 feet tall and blooms from yellow to red in April. Being in western North Carolina, our favorite is the Flame azalea. Grown from seed, it can be yellow to bright orange in big trusses from April to July depending on your altitude. Sometimes it can be finicky when planted in the wrong spot. Flames can grow up to 12 feet tall and they are beautiful. Highly sought after in the Appalachian region and beyond. Performs in Zones 5 to 8. Cumberland (from the Cumberland Plateau) is usually confused with the Flame but has smaller flowers. The orange-to-red blooms are smaller in stature to the Flame. Plumleaf is sought after for its late bloom time. The blooms are beautifully dark orange to red and seen in August and September. Found in a small region on the Alabama-Georgia border and a prize in the garden. Beautiful purple leaves in the fall, it can be a big plant growing up to 20 feet tall.

6) Not new but recently recognized species are the Red Hill (R. colemanii) and May White azalea (R. eastmanii). Red Hill was recognized in 2008, found in Alabama, and was thought to be R. alabama. But it was found to bloom earlier (early May), has different colors, and has other distinctive traits leading to recognition. May Hill, found in South Carolina, was also thought to be an R. alabama but through the same type of scientific work, was named in 1999. Blooms with a yellow blotched white, fragrant blossom in mid-May and is found in a more neutral soil.

One of the wonderful elements of these plants can also present problems as a grower — they hybridize easily. It can lead to amazing natural collections as found on Gregory Bald and Hooper Bald in western North Carolina. But also leads azalea enthusiasts and collectors to travel far and wide on the hunt. The azalea garden on the Biltmore Estate is named after Chauncey Beadle. Beadle, appointed by Frederick Law Olmsted in 1890 to oversee the Biltmore Estate Nursery, eventually became estate manager until his death in 1950. He and his botanist friends Frank Crayton and William Knight, plus their driver Sylvester Owens, started searching in 1930. Calling themselves “the azalea hunters,” the four of them spent countless hours, weekends, and holidays searching the southeast for native azaleas, species and natural hybrids. Some of those plants can be seen on the Biltmore Estate today.

Those traditions are alive today. Azalea hunting is a regular feature of chapters of the Azalea Society of America. Earl Sommerville and Kelly Strickland hybrids, Ernest Koone of Lazy K Farms, Vivien Abney of East Fork Nursery, and others keep the tradition of searching for and cultivating native hybrids alive and well. Callaway Gardens, the Azalea collection at Taylor University, the National Azalea Repository at the N.C. Arboretum, as well as The Biltmore Estate, are among the gardens to see many of these plants in bloom.

Native azaleas are all over the eastern U.S., as are many hybrids, both man-made and found in nature. They are all true gems and can be the centerpiece of any garden, in particular native landscapes. The popularity of these plants by the home gardener, as well as landscape architects and designers, increases dramatically every season.

Leaders are often expected to have all the answers. Not only is this an expectation shared by many, but it is also regularly self-imposed. If you do not have the answer to a leadership challenge, you may feel inadequate or uncertain and vulnerable. None of these emotions feels good and are often frowned upon in the workplace — or so you may have been taught.

Really? Are you never supposed to experience uncertainty as a leader? You are a human being and hard-wired for struggle. You are comprised of all the good, bad, and ugly that comes with being a human, which is not the Hollywood version of leaders who ride into the scene to save the day. And with your humanness, you will sometimes (make that many times) feel uncertain about your abilities.

These five steps will help you work with uncertainty and vulnerability without going crazy.

Embrace uncertainty and vulnerability

Reach into any doubts and fears you have and pull out all the anxieties and doubts. What do most leaders do with this uncertainty? Well, bury it of course. This strategy of burying and numbing may work for a while, that is until it shows up again as illness, ulcers or worse. Why do you think people in leadership roles are so stressed, obese and addicted? It is because feelings get buried and numbed.

The interesting thing about the numbing strategy is that when you numb your “bad” feelings such as uncertainty, vulnerability, doubt and fear you are also numbing your “good” feelings of joy, peace and gratitude.

Stay present

Do not worry about the future or live in the past. The only moment you have to live in is the present one, so why waste it? The nature of uncertainty is that the future is unknown. Time spent fretting about what might happen is just an exercise in fiction.

What does living and embracing the present moment bring? This moment of uncertainty and vulnerability is where creativity, joy and beauty are found. Great art is created in the vulnerable state of uncertainty and presence in the moment. Walking through the door of uncertainty and vulnerability is full of endless possibilities because this is the location of your true, authentic self. Peace is found in authenticity.

Stay in your own lane

When you start to compare yourself to others, you set yourself up for failure. It is not because you cannot be as successful as someone else, but because you cannot be anyone else. The only thing you can be is the best version of you — your best, authentic and true self.

This can be a challenge during times of uncertainty because you may see others who are dealing with uncertainty with more ease. Instead of going to a place of comparison, pull away and observe. Has this other person tapped into the present moment? Are the creative juices flowing for that other person? Are they peaceful because they are authentically in touch with their fears, concerns or excitement about possibilities?

Practice gratitude

Nothing else will bring you into the present moment faster than gratitude. When you practice gratitude, you are reminded of the blessings and opportunities that surround you right now. When you focus on that for which what you are grateful, you receive more.

That which occupies your mental and spiritual focus shows up in all aspects of your life. Therefore, if you are focusing on those factors that make you grateful, you will have more of those results showing up.

If your focus is on worry, fear, and a scarcity mentality, get ready for more worry, fear and lack of showing up. Your thoughts are a powerful force, so be intentional and strategic about where you put your focus.

Be truthful

Be gentle and graceful with yourself and others during times of uncertainty. All the feelings you are having in these times, just know that others are having them too. When you practice loving kindness, you will find patience, grace and empathy. Tell yourself the truth about how you are feeling and be prepared for both positive and negative feelings and thoughts coming back to you. Honor and acknowledge all the responses you receive and intentionally shift to more supportive and loving feelings and thoughts. How do you shift? Do what gives you joy and be present to fully enjoy that activity.

Remember that uncertainty and vulnerability is the birthplace of truth, authenticity, creativity and beauty. If you choose (yes, it is your choice) to step into and embrace the uncertainty, stay present in the moment with gratitude, and give yourself loving grace, you will find tremendous opportunities in uncertainty to help shape a future that you may not have otherwise dreamt possible.